You are an idiot.
Don’t get defensive! It is not your fault. For decades your teachers, authority figures and textbooks have been lying to you. You shouldn’t have five senses. Your tongue doesn’t have neatly segregated taste-bud zones. You do not know what the pyramids truly appeared like. You’re even pooping fallacious – Jesus, you’re a wreck!
But it’ll be okay. Because we’re here to help. Packed with more sexy facts than the Encyclopedia Pornographica, the Cracked De-Textbook will teach you about the true stars of history, why you picture everything from Velociraptors to Ancient Rome incorrectly, and after all, at long last – how to pop a proper squat. This book was built from the ground up to systematically are seeking for out, dismantle and destroy the many untruths that years of misguided education have left festering inside of you, and leave you a smarter person…whether you find it irresistible or not. The De-Textbook is a merciless, brutal learning machine. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are informed.